squirrelfish~

i can't believe it...i cried when i went home~

for the first time...

tears of joy...

i was truly happi...all because of you guys out there, makin me feel wanted. suddenly my existence seems veri clear to me. suddenly the meaning of life jus stands there looking at mi. i feel loved! whee! i'm just so happi when i see all of you~ wif the smilin faces and the enthusiasm...it's just building me~ into a better person. felt realli bad fer keepin so quiet todae, cuz of mi stupid sorethroat n' migraine (excuses excuses...) but i'll try to talk more...and i'm so glad ppl lyke mi blog! hey...i'm seriously touched by tt...i wanna thanx all of you...tt's what keeps mi writin...

aniwae, todae was just todae. doesn't seem veri special eh? well, todae's a special dae, cuz it's the end of the month! and i'm gng to mi cousin's wedding dinner soon! and we had our maldives reunion todae! YAY!!! see? life isn't tt bad after all...i'm loving everi bit of it, even when i'm sick i'm happi...cuz life is something we should cherish and i'm glad i'm still living it! okie...i sound weird...no i'm nt gng crazy, but i'm realli happi...was tryin to hard to stay awake during lessons cuz i din haf enuff slp and yar, the lectures were pretty boring, but it's okie...no pain, no gain...and slept durin gp~ o well...tt's something i couldn't avoid...but todae was an eventful dae i guess...wif you ppl brightenin mi life. the reunion at 3 was superb. smiley faces. happi faces. ppl missing each other. screaming. laughter. saw ppl i haven't seen in daes. was seriously happi...even tho ppl call me...let's see how many nicks i haf...okie lar, onli two, lucy and squirrel...and i'm nt joining hockey fer tt hockey stick. hahax~ den bern was wearing the earings we bought...lyke windchimes but looked veri classy. jiali gave out more cards dis time and den gave one to richard wif an envelop...why we dun get one and he gets one? hmmm...*evil grinz*...we are supposed to do a sharin session wif the j1s (which i heard sorta despise us now...the non-maldives ppl...why?) and also put up photos abt maldivien culture, wad we did there n' stuff...den we gave cards to the tchers who went wif us...THANKX LOTS! hahax...they rox...den we started sharing our results n' stuff, gossiping (as alwaes) and i'm supposed to scan the photos frm gongjiao but todae i dun haf the time...mayb on sat...talking to dem and reminiscing is just so much fun...haven't talked to dem...i mean, other than the usual bunch fer some time and was realli happi to see some familiar faces...o well...went to the canteen to gossip fer a while and i was off home...

there's nuthin i can do to control the feeling lingering inside...it's just hard to forget the seconds i had wif her...those long chats...but i'm seriously fine wif it. i'm nt confused now, i'm clear how i feel, onli tt there's this feeling that's pulling me back from where i started...nothing. and i'm still feeling for someone else...probably just a crush, but i'm still sticking wif mi frens...hope after todae's rain the sky clears up and finalli get to see the beautiful moon! hahax~ call mi plain crazy, but tt's me...simplisity is bliss, and i jus love that round skylight in the midnight sky, shining brightly and laying a path out for mi to walk on...

sudden surge of adrenaline

before dis...shall say a big happi b'dae
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNIE AND JOLYNN!!!

i'm dazed...confused for the first time after i came back from maldives, which isn't what i wanted...

why me?

and i thought it was over. *sigh*. somehow, the feeling just came back, but i dun feel lyke going fer it again. i dun lyke sufferin a silent battle all over again, and i will only go thru that onli if i'm sure, and i'm suddenly feeling for someone...

todae was physics s. reached sch at 7 tho the exam is at 2pm cuz i wanted to meet up wif all of em and also zhimin...saw some of gongjiao's scandal photos and realised i look realli spastic. o well, but tt's nt the pt. aniwae, the j1's had breakfast party wif the music blasting away (let's get it started still runs in mi head...but i lyke tt song) and wif mi walkin ard lyke a lost kid tryin to find his way...went ard seeing familiar faces and also funny stuff happening all ard. laughter. joy. and suddenly the reminiscence. went to mug at oasis fer a while until i migrated to a much cooler and mugging condusive student lounge. saw many gatecrashers over there, and it was realli fun looking at those faces, happi faces, unfamiliar faces, suddenly becoming jus plain normal. i'm glad i was there. tried hard to mug and realli mugged when jim, richard n' melvin arrived. started to look at the questions more seriously and den we figured! physics s is jus 80%maths+20%physics. was realli farni watching jim and richard bully the hell outta each other, melvin wif his rolling eyes...realised melvin's laughter is just as infectious as collin's. saw all the ogls...familiar faces and was realli happi to see all of de maldives ppl so enthu bout stuff. we rock!

physics s wasn't tt bad...section b was a morale booster tho the rest were actualli nt veri easy, but who cares? lyke richard said, he'll be darn happi if he passed...o well, wad's done is done...leave it all to the markers. after tt met at the canteen to celebrate bernie's(30 march) and jolynn's(29 march) b'dae...the cake was realli nice lar...so chocolately, and we still added a J/B over there (which had double meaning...oops) wif M&M's and surrounded the whole cake wif em. also had 3 thank you cards we wanted to give to the tchers. gongjiao was doing the suicidal stuff in the canteen where he jumped outta the canteen, which of cuz freaked the hell outta some of the gals...hahax~ cutting cake ceremony, and den the photo taking...hahax~ jiali gave out some cards tt she wrote bout ppl...i tink tt was seriously veri nice of her~ to take the time off to wri ebout others...and was realli cool tho she screwed up jim's and mi post...went to kap fer a short dinner meeting n' den went home~

pufferfish is currently in a trance~ getting realli tired, and i hope to make mi mind clear by tonite...i dun wanna go back in there wif the same mentality...and thx lots bern fer tt tag...makes blogging all the more worthwhile...thx lots! wonder if there's any moon tonite...the beautiful moon~ whee! nitez~ -.-

missing the beautiful moon...

(before i go on...all kudafarians pls pass mi ur b'daes when you see mi online, collatin a b'dae list...nt so tt we can tp the person, so dun worri richard...hahax...yep...thx lots!)

phew~ finalli awake. after that mass conversation last nite, was so tired, yet couldn't sleep, i want another one tonite....

wonder how long dis will go on...

if it goes on for 1 more week...yay! (miraculous as i'll be tired on mon's wed's fri's...stupid cca)
if it goes on for 1 month on a periodic basis, why not? (it'll be even better)
if it goes on for 1 year...something's realli wrong...(hahax...i'm jus crappin...)

o well...life goes on.

yesterdae wasn't an eventful dae. unless you call a mass 3hr cleanup exciting. was pretty hard finding back all mi notes which were evenly spread throughout the house. and also shaking off the shreads of tissue paper from washed clothes. apparently someone put ONE WHOLE PACK OF TISSUE into the washing machine wif 30 other clothes. imagine. wasted bout 30 mins helpin dad clear the tissue, n' another 10mins clearin the whole area. but that brought back memories...felt as if i were shaking the sand off the carpet, our healthpost carpet. whee! and washed the shells, changing the water twice (quite pissed that mi dad added dettol into the first wash...had to rewash, but the smells still there! ...) realise mi collection was so limited as compared wif richard's n' melvin's...but it's okie...enuff to make 2 bottles of souveniers...

sent mi camera for repair and now is tempted to get a new on...quote : "panasonic DMC FX-7" aka maeyue's cam...big lcd, and looks pretty cool...but it doesn't support memory stick *sigh*...guess i'll stick wif sony den. went to visit mi maternal and paternal grandparents, still veri healthy and still arguing, but in a gud sense. thought i saw minghui at tiongbahru plaza, which was quite...quote :*suay*...hahax, but nuthin bad happened tho mi dad got blessed wif crow's droppin, which was...erm...red. shan't go there...

went home n' watched the sound of music, shut the windows because of the haze and also because of the pasar malam (night market) karaoke station which was blastin chinese oldies...and at 9.30, the long convo began. was quite scary...never chatted wif any grp of ppl for 4 HOURS...i left at 1.29am i remembered...wow...and it still was hot...many things being said, n'...i haf 75% of the convo wif mi, 45 pages i tink...scary eh? and we had a grp tag, thx to yichuen...[ ���煤d芒F��R�� ]...and also a group song...i tink..other than the cheer...quite representive of us...Richard Marx - At the beginning...shan't tok so much bout' yesterdae's convo, was kinda...weird...but cool! hahax...ppl kept leaving n' coming back...and i just realised there's such a thing called alcoholic coffee...*sweatdrop*. ultimate irony. but it's true...

o well...till next time...this is another song...pretty nice, representative, and yar...enjoy.

Keane - Somewhere only we know
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Bridge:
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and i need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and i need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love
Is this the place that i've been dreaming of

Bridge

Chorus:
And if you have a minute why don't we go
talk about it somewhere only we know
this could be the end of everything
so why don't we go
somewhere only we know

(Break)
Bridge
Chorus
(Instrumental)

this could be the end of everything
so why don't we go
somewhere only we know

time of your life~

yawnz~ i'm tired, but happily tired...finally...i dun desire peace suddenly.

weird?

naah...some shoutouts i'll lyke to make before i go on...
OG 33 RAWKZ!
KUDAFARIANS RAWKZ!
MALDIVES RAWKZ!
EVERIWAN RAWKZ!

and suddenly it all seemed so simple.

i'm addicted.

again and again...and with withdrawal symptoms too.

shucks...in a good way i guess...whee...

aniwae, let's just start wif todae...i woke up late. tt doesn't count for a bad dae, rite? moving on, did mi usual stuff n' rushed to sch...okie, maybe i shall rewind 10 hours before.

7 pm blogging
8 pm still blogging
9 pm muggin
10pm muggin
11pm was abt pack stuff fer swimming (gng wif class frens)
11.30 jim told mi we were gng to crash O2 jus before i was abt to slp
11.35 went online (laughed the hell out of miself)
12.20 slp (i tink without brushin mi teeth...still feels sticky tho...hahax~)

it's alwaes the 30 minutes tt makes the diff. and it happened todae as well...in the last 30 mins i scrambled 5 marks fer mi f maths common test which is pretty screwed. F for FAIL. wadeva...was distracted when the mass dance songs were being played durin the test. was tryin hard to control mi feet and mind. o well, ct's over (s paper not counted)...

later went to meet OG33 (the extra, n' jim was sayin it was the country code of maldives...shall go check now...*checks*...it's 90...) met jo lynn, bernie, edwin, yicheun, zhirong, mel, ruth and many others...yay! changed into mi pe shirt and we were off...

crazy ppl...screaming their heads off as we popped waterbomb after waterbomb above their heads. jiali was at a station where ppl were supposed to slide on benches to get onto the other side (looks pretty pain, and jiali was like a watergirl, splashin water ard...and tryin hard to get us wet as well, which of course wasn't veri effective as she got wet most of the time) was tryin real hard to get richard dirty till he poured some water onto mi frm mi own cup but happens tt i still had some water which went onto his face. oops...before tt he was still busy with his fetish, cleaning shells to make the so-similar mud juice (frm maldives of course...)

of course we wreaked havoc throughout the sch wif our kudafari cheer and makin ppl squeal while we went ard wif our somewhat dangerous waterbombs. edwin now climbs trees for a living, camping and throwing bombs at unsuspecting ppl. and realised todae he's a realli horny dude when he used waterbombs as boobs, leaking ones...and wif the other...yar...shan't digress. tried hard to play games, but alwaes got screwed when one og came late. what can i sae? our OG rox...hahax...let's just list the victims...mae yue, christine, richard, jo lynn, dot, melvin...basicalli everiwan got hit one way or another...o well...

saw...no...heard ppl screamin "yaa...." cheer fer abt 11 times (thx jim) and yawnz~ screamed mi lungs out as well...gng ard dancing and cheering...den we went out fer dinner, and screamed into the phone when zhimin was on the line...we miss him and he missed us too...went to serene...jolynn, edwin, jiali, christine, ruth, mel, maeyue, jim, yichuen, and keefe...was quite fun talkin, n' hahax...hush...

o well...too many nice memories to remember...i miss all of you! jus love all of you....i'm serious...okie, maybe the usual suspects...whee! tryin to control miself now...okie...time to go back to mi mass conversation...all e best yall...grp outing in 3 wks but i can't wait...miss you guys oreadi...

before i go, dis special song is dedicated to all you ppl...
Greenday - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don���t ask why
It���s not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It���s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf of
Good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it���s worth
It was worth all the while
It���s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

It���s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It���s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

explicitly simple~ again

suddenly~ nuthin's changed...haiz~ i'm still missing maldives and everiwan else...everi kudafarian out there, pls tell mi there's a grp outing sometime soon...and i still have nt seen edwin's scandal photos~ freak!

i realli...can't help sayin this...i miss everiwan! o well...i can't live...can't even sleep...naah...i must adjust to mi own self~ i tink you guys just helped mi find myself...thanx lots! Now i dun feel sad fer nuthin, or maybe nt even for something that's nonexistent...now i feel calm...peace...'cept tt it's hard nt seeing those familiar faces i saw fer 10 days in a row...phew...and i tink i've changed lots...other than the peeling skin (which is realli irritating and disgusting...) i feel...a little lost, but having a new prospective to what we call life. finalli i'm free...i tink...i'm free frm her spell, i'm free frm my depression (i tink so...) and i've gotten everithing that i wanted (maybe nt realli, cuz mi camera screwed up the time i needed it most...in MALDIVES! AARRGGHH...o well...)

maybe this will help...i shall try to organise an outing...everi kudafarian reading dis...yep...wanna meet up on fridae? go someone (preferbly near the seaside) to chill out? realli miss all of you...spread the msg and yep...let's nt blindly reminisce the old times, we all have memories...and the photos too...hahax~ o well...

todae's ct was quite okie, and i dun wanna go into the details...and now i have the mass dance song stuck in my head...cuz i was busy muggin while they played dis song over and over...jim n' i were itchin to go down (i tink...hahax~) den nearly danced wif jo lynn until they abruptly cut off the music...xianz~ (sad cuz i couldn't dance...nt wad i meant...hahax...it's real cool btw...) o well...was quite weird seeing ppl back in sch uniform...shall name a few...bernie, jiali, weiling, and...edwin looked okie in his...and i'm realli sad tt some ppl couldn't make it back in...haiz~ one less person to join mi in the bullying club...hahax...jokin...shucks! i'm tokin too much abt maldives...arrgh...i'm addicted! Yay! hahax...dun bother...i'm realli happi to have spent mi 10daes of time wif all of you wonderful ppl...you guys rox!

withdrawal symptoms

i miss...it's not easy to give up my life...
i've just gotten a new prospective to life. suddenly many things don't matter. i dun feel happy when i have them...even if i do it's just temporal...money, cellphones, com, bedroom, education...i feel that friends are so much more important...and also the memories...the sun, the sand, the sea, the coconut trees, the friendship, the dreams, the love, the silence and just sitting by the beach...oh...the taopok...hahax...naah, but i seriously miss the peaceful village...the mighty jungle...hahax~ simplicity is bliss...just sitting quietly from you i feel loved...kudafarians, i love all of you and i'll miss you...muackz~

The Lion Sleeps Tonight
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

Near the village the peaceful village
The lion sleeps tonight
Near the village the quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh,
a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

Hush my darling don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight

weema-weh
weema-weh
weema-weh
weem-ma-weh...

you are my sunshine~

it's all too hard to see...now i feel love is not my middle name anymore. friends are a lot more important to me now, but still, someone out there is catching my attention...purity, whiteness, angelic...should i hold? i lost a feeling, and i got back a feeling...
maldives rox! i feel gud...seriously refurbished, empowered, invigorated...
Five things i'll miss...
1. the kids
2. the tea
3. the friendship
4. the fun
5. the sea
the kids over there are like so cool...they like to climb trees, play soccer, drink, and help...they're jus so cute...and so innocent. realli wanna stay back because of them. the tea needs no further explanation...damn nice. the friendship i've forged with 34 different people...34...in 10 days...even better than orientation. i realli wanna see relive the past...grp outing pls...and i want the contact list bad. whee...i love all of you! hahax...
new life...but i'm freakin' burnt...screwed up cts...but what the hell? quote : "exchangin common tests for a once-in-a-lifetime exp...!" hahax...catcha soon...image station upload

maldives~ i swear i'll miss you...

it's just so unreal...i dun feel free in singapore anymore. it's just so hard to say goodbye...and yet say hello again.
maldives gave me a whole new prospective of life. i swear that anyone who goes there would say the same. simple life. clear beaches. clear waters. friendly people. happy children. plain work. new friends. happy friends. i love it. i realli miss maldives...now i tink i can list at least two-thirds of the people...
guys:
alex (tall n' cool...all right)
dave (toing...i dunno how to spell lehz)
jim (hmmm...shall keep hush...his usual self...close buddies fer life)
jia cheng (hongkong tycoon with split personality...alwaes see ppl bu shuang)
wee pin (alwaes wif tt cheeky face...rox)
colin (drummer boy and baby boy...you did well...contagious laughter)
michael (cameraman...and hahax...you rox too...)
melvin (guy with the rolling eyes and everi gals fantasy...hahax)
zhi min (alwaes with the right ideas and good wif kids)
zhi rong (smooth criminal...hahax...shan't sae more)
keefe (vocal, funny, patient and hahax...hush)
richard (freakin' funny guy, love his laughter and is realli realli cool)
prashant (vocal...and good sleeper...hahax)
augustine (veri gud wif kids n' bridge...friendly too)
yucheun (techno geek...leader of comcom...and hush)
edwin (scandal photos...realli farni guy too)
gals:
jia li (leader of yaHOOligans, and realli farni n' forgiving...realli sorri...hahax)
bernie (am chio...tho she's pretty chio oreadi, and hush...hahax)
wanda (laughs easily, nutty but yet cool...likes to whack ppl...hahax)
Li Yan (tryin hard to speak chinese...qi you chi li...hahax...)
Mae Yue (logcom leader, laughs easily, strong, cute, and reminds me of certain nice ppl...realli rox, realli gud voice)
sharon (nice to talk to...hahax...faithful journalist and quite funny...)
callista (also laughs easily, wif the vampire teeth...hahax...reminds me of some ppl)
ruth (quite fun to be with, and i feel tt she's got control...i dunno...hahax...good voice too)
densie (tall...and always have tt face...dunno how to describe, it's nt bad...hahax...rox)
fernella (quiet but veri hardworking, veri nice to talk to...hahax)
mel (horny gal, was pretty disgusting, but we're all horny, so it doesn't matter...hahax...veri vocal, compliment)
jo lynn (veri vocal, and hahax...pretty farni sometimes...you rox! spirit lightener)
cristine (mi dance partner, her laughter veri farni...hahx...but she rox...i'll try to improve...hahax)
eugenia (first impression was tt she's guai, but actualli she's veri nice and fun to be wif, willin to learn...hahax)
wei ling (2 wei lings, in fact...)(both like to gossip, the one with the smaller eyes(i forgot your surname...paiseh) likes to talk to ppl, and is realli cool...the other alwaes calls mi a squirrel...hahax)
dorothy (reminds me of egna in the incredibles...realli funny and hahax...rox)
ellanor (quiet, but i tink you can be better...works hard...)

yaHOOligans rox(cuz i'm the treasurer...almost demoted...hahax). gossip gang rox(yep...we rox...). everibody rox.

bet you haf some things on your mind you wanna ask. living conditions. we live in a health post (sorta like a small building with beds...) gals 2 rooms, guys 1 room. gals approx 1 person to a bed. guys approx 2.5 ppl to a bed. toilets are actualli pretty clean. the shed rox! had lotsa good memories there. singing, dancing, gossiping, playing cards, and some other stuff...the area is covered by sand, you can walk barefoot. generalli it's veri hygenic, no mosquitos, onli retarded flies, lizards, scorpions, ants, crows, bat, chickens, stork, ducks...yep...what we did there. carry sand, bricks, concrete, cement, planks...help build the principal's office, carry out teaching, interact with kids, contribute to their economy (esp monima...hahax...the all you can have shop...), and enjoy what's left of life. food? great...curry, rice, spaghetti, papadum, prata, fish...lotsa stuff...and wif cool drinks too...watermelon, orange, lychee, lime...(cept fer the drinks on the last 2 daes...the terra drink, the mud juice, the blood syrup...go figure...ask richard, he drank all and ended u with the stone look). lifestlye? slack, work, picking seashells, realli tempting clear seas, simple life...tell you the rest later...time to mug fer cts...physics...screwed...o well...

freedom in my tiny room...

tmr may be the last dae anyone sees mi~ wad am i tokin abt...hahax~ i promise i'll be back, but i'll realli miss a few ppl...mi parents, mi gang, and her...but i'm venturing into uncharted territories soon, maybe i'll change mi mind over time and come back wif some gud stuff, n' i'll be happier...yay! hahax~

it's realli hard to sae how much i'll miss you ppl when i go~ dun tink many of you will miss mi, cuz lyke it's over the hols n' no one gives a damn where you are. hahax~ wadeva, but i dunno wad i can get back frm there...wonder if i haf tt much money...o well...gng there to see. i get to oficially pon gp tmr cuz i hafta leave earli fer the stuff, so hahax~ and i wun be here on fri! sad but yar...things we haf no control of and that's what destiny is...hahax. hope i survive dis trip...a little scared, but i noe it'll be lotsa fun! hahax~ all the best to you guys...muackz~

me, myself and...someone else...

decided to do this before i go to maldives...
Five things i'm happi about:
1. my life (could be better, but could be much worse at the same time)
2. my frens (you guys rox man! to the gang n' 04s04, all the best)
3. my family (i still feel loved, tho sometimes we quarrel, but we still care)
4. her (tho i've no courage to step up, but yar...i'm realli happi i met you)
5. my past (learnt lots from everiwan n' everithin...thx...tho it is still dark)

Five things i dream of doing:
1. travel round the world! (hahax...serious, wif tt someone special of course...)
2. swim with the dolphins (not sharks, i love dolphins! hahax~)
3. learn how not to be depressed (this is quite hard i guess...)
4. treat all mi good frens (serious, if i had the money, i would...wanna thank them...)
5. livin in a countryside wif mi parents (western...nt tt i despise china...)

Five things that are most important to me:
1. family (esp parents)
2. frens (dunno wad i'll do without you ppl...)
3. her (no further explanation)
4. my diary (seriously...everithin's in it)
5. my home (hahax...wad else?)

Five things i want to achieve:
1. happiness
2. a good relationship
3. find the meaning of life (by my own...or tt special someone)
4. a wider circle of frens
5. a clean house (abt to freak out soon...hahax)

i still hold her as mi upmost importance...and mi family too...inspiration~ thx guys...

explicitly simple~

finalli back to mi normal self, i guess~ yawnz~ still a little tired, but i slpt earli yesterdae, so it wasn't tt bad. haven't been lookin into the mirror fer a long time, but i guess tt's gud~ growing fat frm sundae's buffet...hahax
aniwae, todae was~ todae. pretty fun, got a little scared, but still okie. during chem prac realised i need to study more n' i tink too much cuz i overwrote (wonder if there's such a word)...a little too much...o well, at least it's jus prac, nt the real spa a...realise i'm gettin sick too, feel lyke vomitting now. after sch (due to no mt) went to lot 1 wif jim n' sengee...met a zhangyu look-alike in the bus...was quite scary tho. den we saw miss yee's twin sister in the foodcourt (was seriously scary...forgot to take her pic...was quite freaked out at first but hahax...muz as miss yee tmr...)
i'm running outta words liao~ realli hope you're okie...all the best to you man n' take care! life's tribulations...ageing...hahax~ yawnz~

tired, sick, depressed

after all these longs daes...i can finalli sae...i'm sick~ shit... todae wasn't marvelous, nor was it totalli terrible..

it was hell.

okie...maybe it wasn't tt bad at the start...was freakin' tired, but well, life goes on even if you're left behind. survived maths tutorial, survived maths lec, and survived chem lec. we finalli knew out senior's results fer fm...better than last yr, hahax~ watch out nxt yr...got back mi maths test todae, expected the bad result, but at least i din fail...carelessness is always the key. the super sweet (voice onli, and looks a lot lyke kaiyun) chem teacher went thru carboxylic acids...was quite farni, made mi survive thru it...during contact we had a choice between drama and dance, and we choose drama~ was seriously farni...4 ppl, 3 actors n' one keyboardist, and they needed the audience participation to come out wif a story...was hilarious when they tried to cock up a story bout it(the adam's family hand...), spongebob (eh...ahahahaha...) n' a toenail?!? sounds weird eh? but was freakin' hilarious. got a stomachache after tt...hahax~ realli wanna watch again...5 outta 5...
after that things started gng downhill...maybe i spent too much energy laughing tt mi immunity went down, or maybe jim's bug came to me again, and i went into a trance...couldn't feel mi emotions, onli coldness, den i started sneezing n' fell asleep...was barely holding on during physics, and chem was lots worse...i even volutarily took 2 queen spades when playing hearts...then things got even worse when i slpt...bad dreams, and waking up to find mi shirt wet~ freak...stupid flu bug...just right before maldives...is dis a curse? hahax~ slpt till 5 den went for guitar...was late, screwed up, n' was pissed...todae isn't exactly the best, but isn't exactly the worse...and i'm abt to pull out mi hair cuz i can't do a single trigo question~ screwed...o well, life's life... (seriously no inspiration tonite...something's seriously wrong...)

dark side

woah~ bloated...seriously bloated...nt angry...but full. waah~ wanna go there again...
mi stomach has reached it's limit...great food...pan pacific buffet...freakin gud n' freakin full. lemme list the menu of free flow stuff
salmon sashimi
tuna sashimi
salad (almost everithin you want...i dun lyke salad tho...)
sushi
rock shell oyster (waah...freakin gud...i had two, tt's why i'm having diahorrea)
clams (nt bad...)
chilli clams
smoked salmon
bread (toast...)
tomato soup
shark's fin (i'm an environmentalist, but i still lyke it!)
cakes (22 types of freakin yummy n' sugary stuff...realli nice...mad you shld go~ hahax)
ice cream (sadly, onli strawberry n' corn...i din lyke both)
herbal soup (steamed...freakin nice~ waah...my cousin n' i were drippin saliva...)
Done by ppl :
pasta (any type...damn nice...but the person who did it looked lyke zhang di...serious...)
fish (dory fillet, salmon, scallops...these were fantastic...i dun mind eating 8 of each)
meat (as in steak, lamb, sausage...fabulous...simply yummy)
drunken herbal live prawns (seriously live...there was a tank beside full of prawns, full at first, empty 1 hr later)
chicken (roasted, lyke tho hainanese chicken rice, n' duck)
free flow drinks (8 types of hot tea, 2 types of coffee, 2 types of cold drink)

n' still a lot more i haven tot of...shan't go on...you ppl muz be salivaratin by now...hahax...cuz mi great grandfather b'dae...after the dinner still got lucky draw...the grand prize...nuthin to sae...jim's phone...freak...but i din get it lar...onli once a yr dis dinner, but it rox~ nitez den, if you dun see mi in sch tmr, dun bother asking~...hahax...all e best den...nitez

raison detre

what's the best in life?
love?
wealth?
health?
fame?

all crap
all the shadows around me
all the fiends around me
all hiding the meaning to myself

silence
my silence
abbreviated by sh...
someone lurking outside mi heart

all a living hell
abstinence from love
abstinence from pleasure
abstinence from you

i shall be better
i shall smile more
i shall...i shall
i...screw those rules...

all that's good
all that matters
all that's in me
all empty

the meaning
the raison detre
the destiny
the fate
the love
is unobtainable...
by me...

maldivian rock~

...i steal glances of you everidae...your face just makes mi smile, realli miss tt vibrant smile on your face. all i realli want fer you is to be happi, n' if you're wif someone who makes you truly happi, i'm pretty glad...tho i can't deny tt i still want to be wif you. cuz obviously, you're outta my league, i'm wasting my time as you'll never be mine and i know i'll never will be good enuff fer you~ (hahax...but it's true) i'm nt ready to try yet, as i'm receiving mixed signals, but i jus want you to noe, i'll always be there for you, no matter wad~ i swear...
yawnz~ seriously tired, severly deprived of my freedom...but it's worth it, to be wif new found frens...maldives...i realli can't wait to be wif you guys again, you guys rox! made mi smile many times todae~ aniwae, todae went to bvcc again to fix coms, was quite pissed at first, reformatting coms, taking cd drives, hard drives and floppy drives frm the smelly room, using the freakin' screwdriver, installing office n' drivers, fishing for new cables, examining the freakin' motherboard, and yar...haiz~ we'll be flying at nite by air emirates on thurs, and the gud thing is tt we'll end at 12 on thurs! yay...no double gp...cheers jim! started off wif the harddisk screwing up, installing lan cards, and got yichuen realli pissed by some particular ppl (shan't mention, den later at bk we were discussing ways to get rid of em...hahax...) everiwan was there, but food, teaching n' entertainment com went of earli cuz they finished everithin, but the com com and the log com had to stay back (actualli it's particularly our fault, cuz they hafta pack the coms...sorri may yee (is tt how to spell your name...hahax...) n' all the rest of the log com fer staying back...thx lots!)...i tink i got to noe more ppl todae...lemme recall...if there are spelling errors pls forgive mi...prashad, melvyn, weibin, jiacheng (has tendencies to switch sides...hahax...), may yee, richard (frm last yr gp cls...you rock!), zi long (the scotchtape guy)...there's still more...the guy wif the funky hair, and the cat high guy (damn farni...you rock too...i lyke ur style)...tt's abt it, i tink i knew lotsa ppl frm log com cuz they stayed back to help...thx again...den in the end we started playing soccer wif the toys while we were reformatting n' installing the os...nt bad, quite fun, muz practice for the soccer match there wad...actualli jacky's a realli farni guy sometimes, feel tt he's quite a gud leader (tho he may look slack...). got the Initiate (the company we're sponsored by...aka paym...) t- shirt...looks quite nice...the seashell...but realli can't wait fer maldives! ah...gng crazy bout it liao...to log com and com com...cheers! yichuen jiayou (muz be braindraining fer him todae) (we oso did nt eat lunch todae~ haiz~ hunger and slp depravation...) time to rest soon...tmr still got a superb buffet...greatgrandad's b'dae...alwaes so nice...nitez~ i still miss you tho, but i'm starting to feel for someone else~ jus a crush...nuthin more...dun bother asking...my lips are sealed...

my own piece of sky~

yawnz~ i'm a little happier todae, but was realli tired, so din tok much todae...i tink it's time i slpt more. was playing winning eleven 8 demo till abt 1am, but tt game rox! want the full version...
i'm feeling better todae, maybe i've tot it true after some time wif myself, and i feel a little better abt miself after some soul searching~ sometimes, it's jus great to reflect, esp at this time of your life, where everithing is so chaotic and yup...to prevent urself frm going into a negative state...(i'm jus crappin lar...someone inspired mi to do this...i'll try nt to be depressed...smile alwaes!)
todae was quite okie...when we went up to the canteen we saw a she-male...or izzit he-female...i forgot liao, but it's a gal tt looks lyke a boy. when we walked up further, we saw a skirt n started laughin...lol...was slacking durin maths tut...wasn't in the mood cuz got a stomachache~ den i still dun lyke mr tek...his accent...slowness...dun try to fake ur accent lar...den after tt jason was mimicking it. lol...both of us dun lyke his style...physics spa was okie...relatively easy...cept' tt someone blew something todae...hahax~ shall nt sae. actualli i tink todae is just lyke any fri, cept tt we pon gp, cept tt i got back mi chinese results, cept tt todae's the 'A' level results release, cept tt i have maldives meeting todae, cept tt todae there's no pe teacher, cept tt todae's kaiyun's b'dae! hahax...quite happi lar...i got a four fer chinese...quite happi actualli, nt realli surprised...o well, everidae's everidae..tell you more bout it some other time...actualli haf a lotta things to sae, but a little tired...sry...

i'm feelin better

haiz~ it's hard fer mi to talk to close friends, but easier to talk to normal friends~ i jus can't understand why...dis inverse relationship...when i love you, you love someone else. my heart can't take it much longer. you're giving mi mixed signals, and it's realli nerve wreaking. i can't step out to talk to you~ i admit i'm scared, i'm afraid, and i wonder if you feel the same. show mi the light...i realli want to step out from your darkness. i'm trying so hard to be happi, putting a happi face in front of you, but deep inside, i'm hurt and lonely...please give me a chance to show myself, and to find my inner self...
was realli tired yesterdae (actualli nt, but i din haf the time...) so i din blog, but amazing race yesterdae was fabulous...2hr special. dis season looks pretty exciting...yawnz~ todae was nt realli gud. started off wif mi waking up at 7.30 cuz of the stupid alarm clock~ nearly screwed. but i reached sch on time tho...tt's gud...shall try tt next wk (hahax...lyke what can they do to mi if i'm late...may consider ponning) aniwae, chem was okie, but maths was realli quite boring~ den during maths tut ms ng said we din perform so well fer dis test...i tink i'm gonna fail lor~ careless mistakes here and there...screwed lar. i was abt to slp during gp~ tho it was at the com lab, but was realli tiring lookin thru all those words, n' more words, n' more words...*sigh*...i wanna slp soon.
after tt, went to buona vista to fix e coms...was quite messed up...hard disk failure, no hard disk, no cd drive, monitor screwed...i'm still proud of miself (i'm sure jim is too) fer removing tt windows licensing sticker in one piece...hahax...dun believe mi? try it on your own com...yichuen was also quite pissed offed by the stupid coms...but actualli i found dis grp quite fun...shall mix more wif dem if i'm feeling better. you guys rox! but found out todae actualli corn is quite lame~ hahax...the aircorn (damn...hahax...) was alreadi veri cold lar...okie, lame...went to bk fer dinner n' now i'm sitting here...playing winning eleven 8 later...i'm a slacker~ heck homework...rite...

hope

feelin better now~ but after a look at la3 i'm oreadi abt to puke~ i tink the haze has got mi again, can't be mi mum's food...
i guess i was realli pissed of wif miself fer being angry at nothing at all. sounds weird? i jus get pissed off suddenly, sometimes some things trigger it while at other times, it's self induced thinking that gets to mi...what if the truth is out? what can i do to change fate? i'm realli outta luck these days. first, i forgot to bring mi key todae. i almost knocked into a pillar todae...overslept on the bus (luckily the interchange was jus 2 stops later, but someone had to wake mi up)...now having a bad headache...onli halfway thru mi notes...screwed! i dunwan to screw up tmr's test...rather screw up common test, den can get gpa...
i tink i'm slacking...too much hmwk tt i haven't touched (stats 7 nt included) and i easily forget past stuff...need a memory potion or something (maybe someone...hahax...) to help mi remember...life is just a little screwed fer mi now...can't wait till nxt thurs (one more wk! yay!) i need the solace i seek...

false hope
feeling lost
clinging on impossible
challenging
yet strong
helps dreamers
to realise stupidity
traversing over time
only seeing lies
pain yet enduring
powerful and torturing
parasite of love
false hope

and i still can't hold your candle of hope~

i can't go on lyke dis~ i can't believe the past has brought me to my breaking point. another month and i'll crack, i swear...you seem near, but still far to me, and i cannot hear your voice...i realli miss you, tho i'm nt too far from you...and also, the word is out, but the message must have been misinterpreted~ someone outside the circle of trust knows...how? why?
weather's terrible...the heat has befriended the haze to give mi more problems...i'm sweating and almost coughing rite now~ physics lec is realli slow...the lecturer keeps reiterating his points...and i'm gettin realli irritated. actualli i'm a little pissed off todae, jus wanted to...i dunno...i do haf mi bad daes~ the onli gud part bout todae was chem prac...used the reflux n' distillation setup fer esterification~ was actualli quite farni, cuz shiwei did nt fix the tube hard enuff into the liebig condenser, den the when the water was turned on, the tube came loose and splurt out lyke some water show~ splashed some onto the gals from S5G tt we were workin wif...hahax...was quite a scene...n' suddenly i feel veri pissed off...dunno why~ dun bother figuring out even if you noe mi...ciao