and it's over...finally

phew...cts must haf been bugging everiwan eh? well, to those that are taking papers tmr, gud luck! and fer those who are already slacking even tho you haf paper tmr, hahax...jiayou! and lastly for those people who finished your papers some time ago, we know you're mocking us, so...wad can i sae, slack on! hahax...it's just great after the cts eh? wif youth dae holiday coming up next monday, there's even more reason to enjoy...

:: Tag Reply ::
maeyue : hahax...nt realli yet...but thx! i'm enjoying alreadi! cheers!
partner : i dun haf to sae 'i love you', cuz it's oreadi in the heart! hahax...dun you feel it? hahax :)
jolynn : nvm...it happens all the time, of cuz we love you...feel the warmth ard you? cheers! thx btw...
jelly : hahax...same here...gosh i'm loving so many ppl...*smacks self*...hahax but tt's gud too!
meltee : but nt feeling jealous fer yourself? hahax mi so shameless hahax...
partner : hahax...yep...you've waited long enuff...miss those dancing daes lolx
ruth : *grins*...but his pubstunt was realli farni tho...
leech : at least i did tho...hahax...what shall i do next time...hmmm...
jim : luck? hahax...the papers weren't tt lucky either, but it's okie...lucks fer s-paper tmr!

aniwaes, looking by the way things are going, i guess cts' still a horrible experience...
GP : compo was okie, compre was okie, pass? nt too sure either, but i tink it should be okie
cmaths : still managable...but some errors alreadi...hmmm...
fmaths : as F for F maths...yep...
physics : passable but nt anywhere near C...unprepared we were...
chem : nt too sure either...quite screwed

so summing up, yep...cts are never fun...i can't wait fer it to end, den i can go back to mi normal life. hey wait, what's normal? hahax...tmr's gonna be a fun dae i can feel it (as in after maths s...i'm nt tt sadistic hahax)...

looking around, it's just great to have frens ard. wishing you luck...especially while you're muggin or stressed, and so full of words and equations, it's just good to have some encouragement to spur you further. i'm realli grateful for mi life in one way...i feel so lucky because there are so many ppl that care fer mi! cheers!

be back soon...mind's a little tired but yep, will write more soon! cheers!

3 more daes...argh!

::Tag Reply::
Ruth : i love you more and more each time i think of maldives, which is lyke, almost forever? hahax...the others dun jealous hor! hahax...
maeyue : nt everiwan...but swimming's jus good...it quite fun tho, time to get a new one liao...hahax
Minghao : lolx...some of ur gals? hahax...catchup sometime soon kays? i've been saeing tt lyke forever...hahax
kyo : rite...still in russel peters eh? *hey you watch wad you sae to mi* hahax
christine : alwaes so despo eh? i lyke it tt way tho...hahax...we are alike in so many ways hahax!
meltee : agreed...but nvm lar, go on blog abt it...i din do much hahax
zhimin : yes tt's a compliment fer being matured...cya ard, maybe go swimming soon! :)
jim : as alwaes, one thing after another...but will be fun! :)
meltee : alwaes hungry and will never forget the times we had cheers!
jim : MM seems rather familiar...hahax...
jiali : dun sigh be happi! things are looking great...and will definitely be better after the cts!
ruth : yep count on mi to do tt! hahax...

shall stop here before i get too long winded again...aniwaes, i guess this will be the last blog entry for the hols. will be muggin the rest of the time, so wouldn't haf much time left too. look for a revamp in everiwan's blog after the cts (i'm sure you'll find some signs of relief wadsoeva) and definitely some ppl alreadi haf plans on wad to do immediately after cts end which is kinda good. looking forward to it tho! hahax...revamp's may include a change in content and maybe a change in attitude...i hope i do tho. enthusiasm dipping, but rising in the last week of hols which is kinda good. i guess i'm quite psyched up fer cts (nt looking forward to it tho...sighs) and to all muggers J1 J2 alike...

GOOD LUCK FOR CTs AND IF YOU ASK FIVE OF YOUR FRENS TO READ DIS BLOG, YOU'LL DO WELL. IF YOU ASK MORE THAN FIVE, YOU'LL SCORE A's!

(sheesh i'm gettin lamer by the dae, crappin out such a publicity stunt alwaes seen in forwarded msgs...hahax...ignore the asking ppl to read mi blog section hahax!)

yep everiwan eat your vitamins, drink your chicken essences and have your brain supplements, cuz cts on the way! jiayou everiwan! hahax...will be waiting to come back to mi blue sparkle! good luck everiwan and all the best!

*fireworks of my life*

can't see properly, and there's some ringing sound in mi head tt's nt stopping! hahax...shall stop complaining rite here...

went swimming dis morn wif mi cousin and was quite okie cuz firstly, the pool was quite empty, so we had lotsa space without so many kids walkin ard splashin water at us, so we had the liberty to lie down...i tell you, swimming (or just relaxing in the water) will just make you relax and take things off your mind...it's realli effective, i was just thinkin of the water, the waves and also the people that were walkin ard (hahax...i'm no pervert...kids lar! wad were you ppl thinkin, and i'm no phedophile either! *winkz*), cuz they were so carefree, running around in their little floats, and laughing, jumping into the water and screaming lyke nobody's business, which was kinda cool for a while. made mi tot of the future for once...next time, if i get married, i wanna haf kids (probably 2, 1 boy 1 gal) and i wanna haf a bathtub...hahax...fer mi to relax after work. i love the water lots...because you feel free, and then float ard in it...so if you're nt meeting the criteria, shoo! hahax...no lar...i tink i'm thinkin too far...new age women are more career minded...lolx...

i guess it's just a good way to relax after the long while of muggin and stuff...esp if you haf a buddy lyke mi cousin ard you, telling lame jokes and stuff. it just makes you laugh, and tension's gone! it all dissolves in the water one way or another. waves reminded me of beaches, reminiscing the times back in sec 4 camp wif mi sec sch frens, and also wif some of the S04 guys at sentosa beach, with mi family at changi beach and wild wild wet, and also of cuz wif maldives at kudafari island and the other deserted island (reminds me of lost tho...hahax)...memories...short but lasting. i miss the old times of course, the game was much simpler back then, nt so complicated, but life's a vicious cycle that has no reply button. but within that viscious (viscous...hahax...physics of fluids...oops) cycle there lies happiness, memories, and special moments that make you emotional and touched. those are the moments that define what you'll do for the rest of your life, what you'll bring with you...

can't wait fer cts to be over, and yet can wait fer it to happen...sighs...mugon den [quotes mad : NJ is sadistic] hahax...you're the fireworks of my life!

PS. I saw zhimin todae at cck mrt! hahax...so happi! unfortunately he was bringing lots of books...hahax...but he looks more matured tho...finalli saw him in cck for the first time! hahax...

[edit] o btw, can anyone tell mi where to get a dog whistle...thx...a wooden one perhaps...or a high pitch wooden whistle...yep. thx! [/edit]

reminiscence?

time...haiz...something we dun haf luxury of. somehow looking back (alwaes do...even tho i should be lookin forward)...i felt lyke i've grown up somehow...quite fun tho. the kiddy pictures, and the old things i used to do...plucking leaves from trees, playin wif power rangers (...erm...a little reminiscence, cuz there was dis power ranger performance at lot1...no i didn't watch, but yar...hahax) then moving into kindergarten found a thing called the typewriter...and started computer gaming in primary sch...

i guess it's the old times that make you think abt what you would've tot then about now...hahax...i dunno, just have that veri weird feeling...guessing that life would be much more complicated and less fun, and lots more about studies...

then again, looking at a past not so far, what would you have tot of maldives before you left? somehow that was something...quite far from my expectations.

it's lyke gng back one episode in the series of events...but it's still fun about how i looked at maldives even before we went there...hmmm...

05/03/05 : didn't know everyone realli well tt time, but we knew each other soon enuff! hahax...and i spelt so many names wrongly, didn't remember the names of so many, and still we had so much fun together at BVCC...i remembered the times. diggin up stinkin computers rotting in dust...but it was realli fun because we were in it all together, and that's the passion i've alwaes been seeking somehow, even tho we al looked so xianz one way or another, spreading germs thru our sneezes, playin soccer wif those small cushion balls which were supposed to be fer kids...but we felt the passion.

i remember every meeting we had was worth looking forward to...the first time when jim n' i and another two classmates signed up fer it we were lyke...okie...overseas trip, it's gonna be good! but then...i guess after maldives all of us learnt and brought lotsa stuff back home wif us, nt just the memories, shells, dirty feet, tanned skin, but it's the silent voice in our hearts that make a real friend...and many new relationships forged within 10 daes. it's a miracle that all levels could bond, even levels were blinded (still can't get over the fact tt partner tot i was IP...*sweatdrop*)...and bond not onli on skin level, but a little deeper. it's just not any easy feat that i can achieve wif mi cousins and relatives. love is not something that must happen in relationships...we all love each other as friends! still wishing that we could go back, but as what they sae, never look back, look ahead. but i'm sure the friendships that we have now are strong and everlasting...MALDIVES OEI! hahax...

'nuff said, back to muggin...one week, but it's gonna be a fun last week (weird? hahax...nt fun by muggin)...after the CTs...we'll be lots happier i guess...hahax

*enjoy life!*

life is beautiful...i've just been blinded by a single side of life that i didn't see the other...

looking around the world and the many things that are happening simultaneously, you just fail to realise the simplicity behind this complex system. once you realise that, there's nothing that you can feel...

*it's not how long you live, it's not how rich you are, it's the legacy you leave behind*

*when i leave, don't feel sad for me, be happy! no sadness, but cheer up...because i know what i left behind is for you, my future, to carry on and i'm sure you will do a fantastic job*

what a great man...i miss him lots...but what's gone is gone. somehow i still feel sad, but i've seen it in another light.

in his life he met up with many high level people, became a nobleman himself, but leading a humble life. done many great things...for the people around him and also society. the chinese medical society, and also a few foundations...has a very supportive family to carry on his business, which i'm sure...we'll do well.

at least he left us in peace...i'm glad that he moved on in a way because he was suffering from age and many illnesses...all the best great grandad...hope life up there will be better for you, after all the wonderful things you've done.

happy fathers' day everyone...cherish the days you have...and life is beautiful! cheers!

mind over matter...*breathes*

speed over technique...phew...

agree wif those ppl who sae nj is sadistic...fer the muggin part and also fer the ct's after the hols. heard frm mi frens frm other jcs that their physics and chem ct's do not test everithin! onli abt 7-8 topics...which is...yep...as compared to nj...nothing...we're tested on everithin! arrgh...even food chem, which many jc's are doing it but somehow is a stupid idea because there's another option that's lots easier. just formulas...and yep...thermodynamics i heard...probably borrowing it from mi fren as a backup.

still wondering if life is as easy as it seems...never exchange a life for another, never compare a life for another, and never leave life for another. somehow things never seemed so...mixed up, muttered, blurred...kays dis is nt making sense...

it's just that some things are never what it seems...which brings...life...disillusion?

[excerpt]

disillusion...is there a mirage in front of you that's actualli real?

how do we see things skin deep, characters that are unique? how do we realise whether lies are just blind or hide some figment of truth?

my perception has fooled me. looking around, things seem realli familiar.

those familiar faces, those happy smiles...but is there a mirage?

or is that mirage just a plain lie?

*naah*

*huh?*

perceptions change it's true, but it's hard to see past perception to see truth. truth is always something that's deceptive, it never fails to trick you before showing itself. amazing ain't it? everything in life is a contridiction. mirages actualli haf truth in them, and vice versa.

wow.

not the first time i'm noticing this, but i'm tryin to review everithin ard me. of course i can't be 100% sure what's true and what's not. i'm no fortune teller, no psychologist, and definitely not an ESP, but perceptions do give you a basis for judgement. don't take perceptions as reality, treat them as a side of view. see what others can offer. see how people see others. see how people see you.

i'm not saying many things in my life are not true, like my friendships, my life and nature, but it's just sometimes things happen when you feel it's critical...a sudden surge of emotions, a sudden change of time, a sudden influx of uncertainty...or even a lost of trust. reading between the lines may not always be the solution, just look at their plain appearances.

simplicity is bliss.

or is it?

is bliss simple? a complex feeling of enjoyment and satisfaction that unltimately makes a person what we humans call 'happy'. self-enlightenment.

so bliss is not simple...

so how are we to judge? things are never clear...there's no red line between a lie and a truth. there's no real way to differentiate different levels of friendship.

do we have a choice?

of course...but everithin in life is judged, one aspect or another. judgemental views...nothing is everi realli fair.

so how's life?

[excerpt]

missing those old times...secondary sch, first 3 months, overseas trips, maldives, and the much simpler times...wouldn't you sacrifice to get them back? life...destiny or choice?

*life...not just any other game*

somehow...i'm just feeling veri...haiz. life is realli important, if you've problems do not escape them...face them wif open arms, and call your frens, their the ones that will help you during life and death situations...there's nuthin that unity cannot handle. so don't tink tt we cannot help, we'll help no matter the cost...

oh btw just read the about the E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo 2005) which was quite a blast, considering the big games and also the 3 upcoming consoles tt promise nothing but great gaming...quite a few RPG games there that are coming out soon tt are quite hot...o wells, tt's enuff fer gaming...i miss those daes where i could play 5hrs non-stop...hahax...but i'm glad tt's over. i found a new aim in life...wif you guys :)

aniwaes, yesterdae went fer swimming wif diyong ivan sengee and mi dad...so was quite fun, tryin to pull ppl's shorts (apparently someone had a hole in his pants after tt...hahax...) and just relaxing. haven't seen diyong and ivan fer quite a while so it was pretty fun! i guess...hmmm...swimming rawkx! :) still can remember the times where we were at our old classes, playing, joking, and erm muggin? i dunno...hahax...it was rather fun and innocent (erm maybe nt innocent...*evil grinz*)...

after tt went home to mug and settle some...i dunno...some stuff you'll not encounter everidae and wouldn't want to...thought abt it and den, began thinkin of what i wanted in life and how lucky i oreadi was...somehow life isn't that cheap to waste. den mi cousin zhiyeu came over cuz he needed to report at SAFTI MI tmr morn so came over to stay over (mi place is much nearer to SAFTI MI than his house...at amk...o btw, SAFTI MI is just beside the Singapore Discovery Centre, Boon Lay...) prepared a special dinner...i dunno, mi mum just had tt inspiration to cook a western meal. den i settled the rosti...and she settled the rest...hahax. realli pro. somehow i feel veri lucky cuz...she cooks and she cooks realli well! :) so that burnt one whole dae...totalli...was slacking till late and had a chat wif mi cousin till he slept while he was talking *sweatdrop*...

aniwaes...nt much time left...shall go mug! :) and if you want the recipe for rosti (roesti) it's here...cheers!

grate peeled potatoes into strips (lyke fries) and drip...

add butter + onions (fry till transparent) then + grated potatoes

baking rosti (nt necessary if you're servin immediately :) )

frying salmon

rosti/salmon/brocolli/carrots/pineapple/cream of mushroom

dinner served...bleh...how i wish all dinners were lyke tt...hahax

*honey, got aim?*

the past few daes haf been nuthin but...hmmm...splendid? i dunno...life seems a little uncertain for me. tryin my best to clear up the cloud, but i dun even noe wad i'm tryin to clear...hmmm...

i guess times haf changed for us...look at the things ard us. or just feel. weather's getting hotter, things seem to be going faster and holiday life seems to becoming a routine. somehow dis hols are nt the hols where you can slack and totalli jus relax (lyke a few years ago...) nowadays wif common tests becoming sorta compulsory after the hols, i guess hols are meant for muggin. what someone said to me once made mi think...*JC makes you haf no life*...hmmm

but then again, tt person's seriously wrong. life in JC, ain't just what it seems from the surface. even tho we may seem tired, maybe eyebags, and muggin, we're actualli much friendlier and outgoing than others. okay, maybe nt all of us are like that, but many of us are! we do haf an aim, and that is not just plain results, it is fer us to meet great frens, learn things about life, and also experience things we've never experienced. it's a once in a lifetime shot to go into JC, so why not go thru it? hahax...JC life is nt as dead as it seems...

*was crapping above...* hahax...but it's quite true actualli. JC...is something new. quotes keefe *change is good* o wells...we all need to learn to accept what comes our way in order to adapt in dis environment...

aniwaes, the past few daes have been total relaxation i guess...stayover at mi cousin's house was fun...was playing all the while on his PS2, dynasty warrior 5...somehow i'm tryin nt to get addicted to games again, but dis one's realli gud...it's one of the best rpg(issit? seems tt way) i've ever played and the graphics are awesome...den on sun had some family barbecue which was great cuz we booked a karaoke room but too bad there wasn't any new songs...all tt were playin were oldies and apparently there's no proper mtv, so they were just taking videos of gals in bikinis which somehow was quite terrible...bleh...at least the new ones show bands...tt was bad...and there was abalone! nt fer barbecue of cuz...just *tang* it so tt it's hot...and lotsa stuff too...rarely get to meet up wif all of em, so was quite fun :)

todae went out wif grace mad jim shiwei sengee to lido to watch Mr and Mrs Smith...muz sae it's a nice show cuz the shooting scenes were nt bad, the plot was nt bad, and...imagine husband and wife tryin to kill each other...sounds like a typical household quarrel between assasins...hahax...was realli farni, esp brad pitt...some guy jumped into his suv via one door and he comfortably threw him out from the other door (SUVs usualli have 2 sliding doors)...lotsa romance and yep...nt bad it was...4 out of 5 bubbles...go watch, it's worth your 7 bucks (it's alwaes worth your 7 bucks...hahax) next movie coming up, Initial D...23rd June, which happens to be 2 ppl's b'dae...dunno wad i'm gng to do tt dae...*wonders*

took a bus to PS to haf *tea* at pizza hut...they haf dis offer fer tea, different sets all for $4.55 and add 50cents to $1 fer a change in coffee...so ordered set D (erm...hmmm...oreo cheesecake wif cafe mocha latte)...den we were wondering how to settle the tax which was a whoppin 15%, so was quite hard...remembering the extra cents tt we must pay...the cheesecake was okie, cept tt it kept falling apart...money alwaes seperates the quality...secret recipe's cheesecake is somewhat better. walked ard PS fer a while, but it seemed so familiar...it's been the 3rd week of the hols and i've been there everi mondae...dunno whether next wk will be another...choosing deodourants, analysing guitar, finding network cards, looking at rackets, and basicalli just slacking and looking ard...tt's something i love tho. gng ard without aim, free without any restrictions...long for freedom, but onli a certain extent of it...i believe some things will never change. dinner was cancelled but it's okie...i wun lie to miself tt i'm a little sad tt it didn't happen but it's okie! sometimes things happen, and i'm sure we'll meet on a lighter note next time! you guys are oreadi tired...haf been moving fer quite some time, so yep, rest well! i miss you guys tho...but dun blame yourself! it's realli okie, cuz if you're sad, we're sad too...so yep...stop blaming yourself kays? smile!

life's nt a pitstop, it's a river...how i wish that river was flowing full circle...then it'll never end. somehow, someway, life never fails to surprise us constantly wif new challenges and hopes...dun worri if you fall, because every fall makes you stronger, no matter whether you feel it or not. there'll be times where you feel lost (speaking of which is a nice drama...realli cool) and lonely, but fear nt cuz there are realli many people caring for you and wun wanna see you sad...those who are willing to sacrifice to help you...those are the frens you can count on anytime.

btw...for all of you who are wondering what's rosti...it's basicalli made of onli one thing, potato. first, peel and then grate the potato into strips (something lyke fries, but thinner) and then you fry all the strips together in butter...they'll turn brown and den you flip, flip, flip...and then when you feel the potato is toasted enuff, take it up and serve wif sauce (still tryin to figure out wad sauce it is, but yep...it's veri nice!) hahax...will teach you if i ever get the chance kays? :) and yep, tt's rosti fer you...may nt exactly be the correct recipe, but tt smells marche-ish and yep, it's the national dish of the german part of switzerland...germans are big cuz they carbo load? hahax...nt too sure, but it's realli nice! have the strength to carry on everiwan, whether you're sick, injured, or just lost, your encouragement will be there soon! cheers everiwan!

one last thing

hahax...last nite i made mi own rosti! the one where you fry shredded potatoes in butter. so proud of miself! :) and it turned out lyke the one in marche, cept tt it was thinner and didn't haf the sauce, but was just as nice...gud first try! :) so happi...hahax

mugin, mugout...

phew...medical checkup aside, guitar camp aside...i'm resuming my muggin self again...i tink

aniwaes, it's high time i got a start on work, or a serious start...things haf been gng too fast fer mi...

Guitar Camp (okie, half of it...)
was quite xianz at the start cuz we waited abt 40mins fer the thing to start even tho i was late 10mins...so yep...after tt we were seperated into grps, and was in the same grp wif kaiyun and ian, so yep, a little homely feeling...got to know the ip's and the J1's better, which was quite fun...got into our classrooms, and got to know each other better wif some ice breakers...whacko, where another 2 grps joined in, making it abt 25 of us...and also mafia...actualli was quite xianz cuz everiwan was new to each other and it seemed rather quiet...so yep...destiny tt guitar grp ppl are just to play guitar? or silent and yet musicalli inclined? you decide...call 1800...bleh...nt actualli, i believe there are a few enthu ppl ard, quoting examples frm our batch (kaiyun, amy, shiwei, sangee, ruifeng...actualli lotsa the exco mainly...sigh) but nvm, i'm sure there'll be some changes wif chengliang ard (is tt how you spell your name) the guy who planned out the whole camp. quite enthu he was, and so was zihao (is tt how you spell your name...hahax...can't spell names fer nuts) ...shiwei was busy tryin to teach sangee mahjong while other ppl watched on (and somehow i hope mi mahjong is safe...or else...lol) and then we had lunch, which was meesiam (speakin of which, i miss the one at...where's tt...o jurong east interchange...realli nice, $2.20) adding your own gravy, and chilli...yep...tapao-ed food...had two bowls of tt cuz i didn't eat breakfast (and yep, one is nt enuff, many took two...)

had icebreakers which was quite okie, lyke taking mentos out frm a flour filled plate, transporting water, stepping balloons, maze and pulling tails...was quite okie...and went out to KAP wif chengliang and kaiyun to rent a movie at video-ez, but unfortunately they needed I/C fer registration...so kaiyun, being *five minutes away frm home (quote)* went home to take her I/C while chengliang went back to sch and i slacked at kap fer a moment...gettin realli tired...met sixun who had a video-ez membership! and tt was 10mins after kaiyun left. o her band camp just ended, so she was wif her frens to jiapeng...and 10mins later waited outside cuz i was abt to fall asleep at macs...met dot and mic coming outta the supermarket...haven't seen them in quite a while, and was quite nice...lolx...makin mi miss so much of the past...somehow...maldives just keeps coming back...kays after tt waited...erm...a total of 45mins...and she came back...5 mins away frm home...lolx...nuthin to sae...finalli got the video, constantine, and then headed back fer trg, which was can't help falling in love. everiwan was learning it...so yep. joined in, and had dinner soon after. left at abt 7.30pm...somehow i tot i left at the peak of everithin...it's just a feeling.

Medical checkup
another wasted dae...but was quite fun actualli(fer mi, nt jim...he was freak out by the needle, i would if i were him, still scared of needles btw)...maybe it's becuz i haven't been to one yet...registration was quite okie, cept tt the place look scary wif so many ppl guardin. entered and realised there were abt 50-60 ppl ard having the same checkup...first was the bloodtest which was quite scary (cuz i am REALLY SCARED OF NEEDLES! ARRGH!) but wasn't pain at all cuz it was fast, swift, and yep, it didn't hurt a bit...took mi blood, and then moved off...realised a few seconds later that jim took it but was supposed to stand in another line...read his blog fer more...hahax...dental checkup(was a little freaked out when tt guy went c-18 missing, den another 2 teeth missing...), jaw x-ray, ENT (some auditory test), chest X-ray, eye-test, and then the height and weight, fat and blood pressure, ECG (where they attached many suction pads to ur body and mega crocodile clips to your hands and legs to check your heart i tink...the suction pads sounded lyke wind chimes btw...hahax) and then came the personal checkup (nt gng into details...you wouldn't wanna know...if you heard the rumors, yep they're true..hahax) waited there fer abt 1hr half naked (look at the other guys lar...all wif abs and stuff, shall go train...) and suddenly remembered maldives...where someone did something to wake mi up, and tt someone was still beside mi...was gng to freeze there half naked...everiwan was i tink...den started muggin there. i tink the ppl in front of us became quite worried...nj culture is spreading. aniwaes got in and did the checkup wif the doc and was finalli released...frm the medical part.

didn't know the other part was hell lots worse...

we expected a psychometric test alrite, but it was on the com, and it comprises of 9 sections, total abt 200q's...mcq, but on a computer which tells you to take a rest after everi test...lolx...everiwan was busy tryin to finish everithin on time...or asap...took abt 1hr ++, and if you tink tt was it, they still had some survey abt singapore, ne, ns, saf, and personality, which was shading, and 19pages! in total 300q's ++, and took abt 50mins to complete tt part...and finalli, tt was it. ending time? abt 3+, but mentally and physicalli drained...went to bukit merah hawker to eat and jim's treat on chicken rice. and yep, a cd shop over there...rare but true...

and now, busy muggin at home, thinkin abt the future...quite fine wif it, but a little worried, somehow...but nevermind tt, i tink it'll be fine

:: Tag-reply ::
christine : hahax you rawkx too! glad tt you got your com back...thx lots btw...
jiali : anytime...was fun gng out wif you too! :) all e best fer ct's everiwan!
meltee : somehow dis is the onli song i heard...shall listen to others...thx!
weiling : hahax...the bag you were carryin tt dae was so...pei lar...i can realli picture it lor...but you rawk!
jim : if you've experience life and death situations before, you know wad i mean...and if you've experienced maldives and strong frenship, you'll know why it's important...to keep what you haf...so yep... :)
kyo : stopping time is possible...shall be looking fer parallel timezones soon! hahax...i was talkin quite lotsa rubbish too...
Ruth : pretty sure of tt too! but i tink there're also many other ppl out there tt are realli nice, we just need to open our eyes bigger...:)
jim : tt seems to be copied frm somewhere...lolx...
meltee : wenhaoism? lolx...haoism sounds nicer, sounds like taoism...kays tt was lame...but no thx...it's jus mi thinkin too much...
style : no numbers fer mi...f maths student hatin maths...:)
ruth : i love you too! all of you of cuz...but yep we rawk!
liangjun : i want to, but no time...sry dude...missing the old gang...the four of us...shall call us the foursome frm todae onwards (no pun intended, and it's nt a meaning, but a statement...hahax)

o wells...looking forward to the weekend! stayin over at mi cousins and a family barbecue! hahax...shall practice mi marshmellow barbecuing skills and beat maeyue and jim at tt...

o one last thing...i noticed one track on the F.I.R album tt represents most singers, even choir members out there...pain is necessary in moving forward...aniwaes, it's nt exactly a song, but a speech before ��洪��, and that is how ��洪�� came about...yep...it's quite inspiring...

08 - The Legend 浼�璇� - F.I.R 椋���夸����� - ������

Long ago, there was a bird who sang but just once in her life.
From the moment she left the nest,
she searched the longest leaf for a thorn tree,
never resting until she found one.
Then she began to sing,
more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth.
But carried away in her rapturous honor song,
she impaled herself on the longest, sharpest thron.
As she was dying,
she rose above her own agony to out-sing even the lark and the nightingale.
The thorn bird traded her life for that one song and
the whole world was captured to listen!
And God, in His heaven, smiles ~

As her very best was brought out only of the the cost of great pain.
Driven by the thorn, with no fear for her death to come.
But when we push the thorn into our breast,
We know...
We understand...
And still...we choose the pain of the thorn...

live like you were dying

haiz...time's passing so fast...and i'm still slacking here in mi house. tryin to mug but somehow there's no aim...focus on the process, not the end, but there doesn't seem to be any motivating end...A levels? i dunno...but i'm tryin mi best...

tmr will be guitar camp...and the dae after will be...medical checkup...somehow still scared of needles...blood test! *sigh*...o well, but tt's the onli way to check on mi health, so i dun mind. lyke tt time i took the tetanus jab fer maldves, was so scared at the sight, but in the end it was okie, cept tt mi hand became numb fer 4 daes...yep, hope dis one's much better...:) being optimistic rawkx!

was looking thru some of the stuff i wrote, and den...gave mi some inspiration, to rebuild on it, and yep...live like you were dying...

[excerpt]
can you imagine how short our lives are?

look at you now.

just look at yourself...how fast has time been for you?

wrinkles? scars? tatoos?

how fast have they come? it always seems so fast, that time just runs past us like we weren't even there...

look at the holidays now. 4 weeks from now you'll be thinking, damn, things have just gone so fast!

don't you just wish there was more time?

time...something that we have no control of, an important comodity in life that everyone has but has limited amounts of it.

seconds, minutes, hours, months, years, eons?

there are many things in life that may seem insignificant, but they actually are. you may think it's a long way to get old...being 50 seems so far from me.

think again. you're already the age you are! and to think that when you were three you were still thinking that fun lasts forever.

forever?

what's that?

does it mean it'll even stretch further if time stops?

that brings to another paradox, if time is something that is continuous, why will it stop? and when will it stop? will it ever?

who knows? even when Mother Earth is completely obliterated, time still continues.

but does it mean it stops for us?

*wonders*

why wonder? start living like you were dying now! if there's something you'd like to do, go for it! do not think, there'll be another time to do it, or maybe sometime later, better things will come. do things that you dream of, do things you want to be of reality. treat everyday with equal importance, do not think that things are forever.

tell those that you really love that you really do, and do not leave them in suspense. tell the ones beside you how much you appreciate their existence, even strangers...things are always linked to one another. there is nothing that stands alone...appreciate your life for what it is, and do not envy those who lead better ones than you. there'll always be people that lead better lives, but always remember there are also people leading worse lives that you are. look beyond self.

have the mindset that you're leading a new life everyday, that gives you something to look forward to. and do not deceive yourself of who you are. be proud of who you are, and do not look back. many people always think people are judged just by their appearances, but remember, it's your character and heart that shines out the most. try to focus on what you can do rather than what you CANNOT do. focus on your strengths and not your flaws. do things differently. see things from different angles. but whatever you do, be who you are! people like you the way you are, do not force yourself to be someone whom you want to be, or you'll be someone you despise.

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said

Chorus
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then

Chorus

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?

Chorus
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

living up the dream

i'm just glad that some things have happen so far...and i'm realli thankful bout it. having such wonderful ppl ard you just makes you feel so happy and not lost. you feel as if you're on cloud nine...having people that sincerely care for you...

was listening to "Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes" over and over again...realli nice song that made me think of what i should do to thank ppl...especially those who go all out to help, and maybe just as a friend, or someone important in your life...and what would happen if you were gone the next dae, without even thanking them for what they did and the difference they've made in your life...i know it sounds quite philosophical, but tink of it...little actions that people do may actualli mean a lot to you, so for what it's worth, make them happy as well! (nt tt i'm boliao or anythin, but yep...there are lots i wanna thank...time is of the essence, and it's still running out as we speak...)

people get angry easily for many reasons...maybe it's because they are realli stressed, or maybe they haf nt enuff slp, or they have problems they're keeping in themselves that they can't express...so if ppl are angry at you, do not just look at it on the surface, sometimes they might just have had a bad day or so...revenge is never the solution to that (damn...now i sound realli deep...hahax) aniwaes, things do not alwaes look as what they are on the surface, but i'm glad they do fer mi...especialli the frenships i've made in maldives. with people sticking to their words and being so passionate in what they do, caring for people at the same time, and alwaes looking happi even tho they haf problems so that others do not worri...i'm glad that these people exist...even tho i wish they were lots happier and nt pretending. reality, truth...everiwan has problems, so face up to them as they come by, and i'm sure you'll be able to overcome the storms along the way...if you need help, there are alwaes frens beside you to guide you, that realli care...

there are also other flowers in your path in life, new friendships, new found love. cherish them as they come, as they don't come ard everidae...new experiences are alwaes good...grab them while you can. at the start of JC life, i got to know more frens, became more aware of what i said, as it's a totalli new enviornment out here...and you become more open minded abt things. no longer restricted to that small group of frens, more diversity, making you more sensitive to people's feelings. that's when you realise you've grown...into someone better...you tend to notice things from a different angle than before, and realise the true importance of frenship. after maldives, you realise there's alwaes a thin line between hi-bye frens and close frens...and in frenship you'll see the true colours of a person. after mixing wif ppl fer 10daes, you get to see other sides of people you've never noticed before, and also other things that make you happi, showing that love does exist between strangers for once...making you closer and lots happier that there are people that care and like you for who you are...

live up the dream...hang on to whatever you have, and keep on dreaming...impossible is nothing if you dare to dream...believe in miracles, and hold on to your friendships realli well...they are important in everi step of your life...and never forget them...

*exhausted*

warning : realli long entry...read at your own risk... :)

well...seems lyke things just got better...aniwaes, i'm back and just to reply some tags first...

ber : sure! aniwaes, the outing is pre-planned and shifted to 14th...any objections? and i need more suggestions fer where to go...east coast, or maybe someplace where we're near each other...thx lots!
meltee : hope you find your red specs quick! :)
kyo : yep...jim corrected mi...damn i alwaes get mi stats wrong
ying : hahax! nt tt i want to, but you haven't seen mi fer long, and nt tt happi! hahax...realli happi wif life now, and i'm sure there's ways to celebrate! :)

phew...the zhenghua camp was awesome! looking back, i'm nt regrettin any moment i was there! hahax...new frenships made, new experiences shared, new insights of life...of course it can never be compared to maldives due to the duration and the place, but at least i've gained something new...you can never lead alone...it'll be realli tough...and think of how others feel, how others go about doing their job...and lotsa other stuff that makes you tink, wad do you need to be a great leader, or even just a leader? it's nt easy, and there's no step by step guide on how to be one either, it just comes within, from long periods of nurturing and self realisation...ppl lyke sean and wanhua...they're fantastic leaders...and i'm sure tt there are lots more i haven't mentioned. it also makes you tink of how to work wif someone you've never met, mostly PR skills and also why sensitivity is realli important in working in a team...i'm sure all of us have shown tt...jiayou guys! :) you've made mi tink more of life again!

reached the sch at 8.30am...was quite deserted but a few nj kias were oreadi there...went to the hall fer a briefing at close to 9.30am, and found out tt i had a new partner! (which is good, change is alwaes good, but of cuz junkiat rawkx lar! i dun mind anione actualli...but change is never bad...) name's stephanie frm junkiat's class(S11)...didn't get to know each other at first, but i'll explain tt a little later...we had this *rehearsal* for the nite walk which was abt approx 2km++, and being there at 11am, the scorching sun of cuz made us...erm...sweat? and tired of cuz...but we were told the postitions we were supposed to stand to guide the campers and places to leave the bits of puzzles (we were supposed to give em bits of puzzles along the way to complete a puzzle or something lidat...quite cool actualli) and was assigned the first stop, the beginning...which was actualli quite slack...just had to guide em through the path...and yep...walked along the path and reminded mi of maldives when i saw the stones...and a sack! hahax...wanted to just jump in and pick up the sack and carry stones...walking on, saw pjc and lotsa terraces and ended up at ten mile junction, where we had a break to buy drinks cuz the route was so hot...and the toilet's terrible in the sense tt it is lyke a maze, and you hafta walk fer abt 1 min to reach the toilet without even seeing it from the start...imagine what happened after the 1 min of walking and then seeing the toilet's closed...hahax...walked back to zhenghua after tt...

later we had lunch consisting of a fried chicken wing, mixed vege, and tt's...erm...abt it? there was also a drink which looked so much lyke copper sulphate solution and tasted lyke cough syrup (aka blue coral...) but it did quench our thirst...went to prepare our stations after tt...got formalli introduced and yep, another good frenship made...furthermore junkiat's station swoosh (where you're supposed to slide on soapy benches and the main objective is to get to the other side, wif the station masters playing wif water till you're nt dry aniwhere...an O2 game) was just beside us, so at least we weren't bored. at the start he was busy bathing and splashing water on everiwan and basicalli having fun! group after group, team after team, and somehow it was tiring explaining the game over and over, and trying nt to go crazy (somehow, cuz the same thing was happening, and steph n' i got quite tired too...) but it was pretty fun to see them entangle in their quest to complete the stepping stones, asking them to cheer, and also seeing how scared the guys and girls were to hold each others hands...it took one group 5mins just to hold hands...and it was realli fun saboing ppl who came near our station...one way or another, we found ways to...sabo ppl, saying cheese before we poured the water, and then came yep...everiwan...who came near, wasn't spared of the same treatment, cept tt some got more...hahax...basicalli it was just realli fun! we learnt lotsa stuff too...pri sch kids nowadays lead realli different lives from us...i haf tt kinda feeling that things have sorta evolved...maybe it's because of some of them, but i just feel different being back in a primary sch. o well...things will change...

cleared up the place, tryin nt to get wet all over again, but wif the UIC detergent all over your body, had no choice but to bathe wif the hose...hahax. went to the hall fer a briefing and den went fer dinner, comprising of...curry chicken and...i forgot what. basicalli it was okie but nt enuff...hahax. went back up and had to get the stuff ready fer the nite walk (wasn't looking totally forward to it after morning's experience...) and got the puzzle pieces and lightsticks! hahax...was quite tired by then but yep, had to do stuff...walked out wif stef and fortunately we were the first stop...putting pieces ard there, together wif the lightstick (i want mi orange lightstick back! lignum rawkx! hahax...) so that the kids can pick em up at various pts of the trail. after tt some stupid insect flew into steph's eye which stung, so went back to sch to wash up...and then walked back to tt pt, and after the whole group walked past, just sat there to slack...i'm nt hanky-pankying or wadeva, but was realli tired and yep, the nite sky's beautiful! hahax...talked fer abt 1 hr and then headed back to sch...where the ppl started walking back in...nice...

sat in the canteen to slack wif jason, sengee, woonjeck...talking abt chinese high, swiss, and even henry park! hahax...can't believe it came back to tt...jason was frm henry park, and wei jack was frm henry park too! but gep...*mutters*...so suay to be tt 6%...sigh...hahax...but i'm glad fer tt...or else i wouldn't haf known some frens...no direct preference either...but yep, esther, S04 nt the jason's...was also frm henry park...GEP! so there're lots more of us than you think *hiak hiak*...was realli fun talking to them abt their experiences, salary, and just abt sch...den found out wanhua was frm...nanyang! hahax...and den sean was frm SJI...had another briefing after tt fer reflections at the hall...where the kids were supposed to hold tea lights and den reflect on what they've done over the past day...lighting others' tea lights on the way...as they moved off shiwei did the ball of fire thingy (inject gas into your closed fist and then lighting it up to see...a ball of fire...) and jason started modifying the lighters, which got quite outta hand as it became some sort of flamethrower...and the kids were lyke woah...but nvm tt. some grp ppl's guys are mixing ard wif gals and gettin close (aka wanhua's grp...and there's a boy who has an attitude prob in tt...) were talking so attentively looking into each others eyes somemore...quite scary actualli. den came debrief, showing where we slept but didn't cuz jason esther sengee n' shiwei hiked all the way back to mi house...30mins...kays realli sry fer tt, didn't walk before mah, but at least you guys got to bathe rite? hahax...

ended up in mi house bathing and then playing mahjong till 5 (tell you wad, esther is a tai-tai to-be..hahax...she learnt mahjong! yays!)...slept till 5.50 and took bus back to sch again...was quite tired, and then when we reached they told us we could go back...lol...but wanted to smack em tt instant...might as well nt go back...hahax...o wells, we did our job, and den misa went home to slp...onli to wake up at 2...phew...nice rest...hahax...went out to orchard library to mug wif jiali and den went fer some shopping to get her best frens pressie...was actualli quite fun (nt wad you tink) to go out shopping wif her cuz...i dunno, gals perspective and guys perspective are alwaes different...ended up at pastamania...o wells...sry i was so quiet yesterdae, but was realli tired...yep...

kays, i'm clearing up a fact...i'm nt as nice as you tink! there are lotsa ppl nicer than mi out there, and who do much more...so yep...i haf an evil side as well...heh heh...nt realli tt evil to scare you, but just scary...ppl many times nicer than mi include ruth (aiyo...you dun even realise yourself...hahax...), jim, jiali, bern, christine, maeyue n' melvin...realli...sayin it frm the bottom of mi heart...yep...tt's all...gng to eat breakfast (or maybe brunch) now...all the best to everiwan muggin...hang in there! and also to maldivians...outing on the 15th (weds)? symoblism, it's in between 10 and 20 (lame reason lar...midway of trip...hahax) east coast? or white sands? msg mi kays? all the best to all! and cherish everithin you have...realli...you never know wad's best till you lost it (quote weepin...)

fuel the passion, chase the desire...

hols are here! it's been the start of a new season...relaxing? i'm nt too sure...but haven't mugged yet...aniwaes, hols are great! lots more slacking time, and yep, chilling out...

cept fer the stupid haze of cuz...currently fluing at home becuz of tt...i guess i'm just too allergic to those stupid dust particles...sigh...

aniwaes, the past few daes have been great...monday was a veri slack dae, gng out wif mi parents and just maybe bonding? hahax...was quite cool actualli, walking ard suntec wif mum, eating cheesecake and drinkin latte, den gng on the PS fer shopping...lol...mi bringing mi mum to shop...hahax...i sorta love shopping in some context...can see lots more things rather than stayin at home, den nowadays the weather oso nt so gud, so it's better to jus stay indoors! overall tt dae was realli fun...

had zhenghua primary sch camp preparations on tuesday morn...saw lotsa familiar faces appearing, den apparently sengee brought some tea which he didn't wanna drink but somehow still tried to drink. put his cup beside and den i somehow...i dunno, realli accidentalli put mi fingers into the tea, den spilled the whole cup on the grass...oops...hahax...got jinxed...nt scalded but was realli funni...walked all the way to zhenghua frm phoenix and saw lotsa kids playin basketball wif soccer balls, and soccer wif basketballs...dunno wad their thinkin as well...the basket was lower so shiwei tot he could dunk but still couldn't cuz nt short enuff. had a briefing at the hall by wanhua and shawn, and tot they did a realli great job...misa and junkiat frm terra and angklung were station masters fer stepping stones, it's lyke a path where the kids are supposed to walk on areas from 1 to 13 in sequential order, holding hands at the same time...den we purposely make the course such tt we hafta cut...erm, i tink 4 times...gud planning by us =) but we also took a tour ard the sch, was realli fun cuz we saw lotsa small kids and it reminded mi somehow of the maldivien kids, running abt freely, den being so happi (apart frm the few pri sch hooligans who called some guy from another race chocolate...wanna smack tt guy...lol)...makes me even more motivated to give more...but their sch's realli big somehow, fer a primary sch tt has 2 gardens, one rifle range, one band room fer equipment onli, and...i dunno...it seemed realli big, makes mi wanna play catching...lol...gng there was reminiscence fer mi as well...o btw it was zhengxuan's pri sch, but...i tink things haf changed liao frm the looks of them...o wells, gotta see wad's gonna happen dis thurs and fri during the camp...we rawkx!

den at 11.45 left fer sch fer psychometric test...sengee was talking bout how slow i walked and mi contributing to the greenhouse effect...lol...aiyah some tings i cannot prevent one wad...hols muz lax a little...reached there late by 5mins, but still got in and had some talk by one of the helpers (nt sure if she is a PSC scholar, was tinkin why they let em do dis when they shld be doing more impt stuff lyke...erm...politics? i dunno...) which was realli brief, but i'm glad it was...started the psychometric tests which consisted of 3 things fer the timed one...first was an IQ test (fitting in the right shape) which was realli fun...next was the maths portion which used veri chim england to describe the q's, talking abt shares and travel prices, din complete tt section...and lastly was the english reasoning test where they gave you some info den you were supposed to answer q's...basicalli it's compre but mcq, true false or can't tell...was shading can't tell fer lotsa den...example : We know how and earthworm thinks...wth! hahax...aniwaes, i can roughly remember what she said liao. 'as usual, we wouldn't tell you how much time is left as tt is a source of distraction for some people, so the clocks are on the side, but if you realli need the time you can alwaes raise up your hand and ask, but we wun be announcing...'

following tt had a break where we had food...expected a little buffet style but the chocolate cake came in plastic bags, den drinks were those you'll see in jewelry stores...by tt time was quite hungry liao cuz didn't eat lunch...and then came the personality test comprising of 186+50 questions...together wif a survey form...o...i forgot to fill in one section which is pretty screwed...i wonder wad they'll write in the report...but there goes the scholarship...hahax...after tt sengee jim mad n' i went to orchard in 174, den boss and melvin were veri cosy in it as well...oops...hahax...waited fer grace and shiwei @ cine...and lotsa imagination lead to a failure...lol...no lar, we're just bored...aniwaes, went to the downstairs "kopitiam" to eat, no money to eat cafe cartel...and den watched monster-in-law by J.Lo and bridget fonda, and is a realli nice movie bout the mother tryin to stop her future daughter in law frm marryin her son...some violent scenes but was realli funni cuz of ruby and the stupid ploys of mother against daughter...was tearing and laughing at the same time...darn farni lar...miss madagascar fer dis, cuz this is more worth your money...at the end of the movie, shiwei lost his wallet, den found it close to the side of the seat...last time grace, now shiwei...who's next? cine is cursed lar...somehow, but i never lost anithin there b4, but nt willing to try either...it's a place where mi former frens hang out, tt's why i like tt place, other than the gud food and nice shops...and good cinema of cuz...next movie to watch, mr and mrs smith...angelina jolie and brad pitt make a gud couple in the show, but angelina jolie sure looks hot! den jim was tryin to pose as mr. smith outside world of sports...lol...realli nice show which looks funni as well...ended the nite tryin to eat desert, but nuthin much so went home, and ran fer 1 min just to chase the 190 while a live band was playing...hahax...went home after tt, tired...

to all maldivians, want a trip to sentosa just fer ourselves? tell mi if you ppl are interested kays? fuel the passion, chase the desire...we'll be back stronger than ever...

the end...

for now...