love is in the air

sorry it took quite some time to get the feelings back again, but yep welcome febuary! can you smell the festivities yet?

finally i'm back in camp, after a 3 week couse which has proved nothing but educational and entertainment. i imagined myself getting fatter after i got commissioned, and boy was i right! imagine a course where you eat breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea break (which features 3 varieties of confectionary and drinks to your choosing, and then dinner at home...wahaha. however surprisingly, my BMI is still like 18.3, roughly underweight (okay quite overly underweight liao)...i wanna grow! (sounds like i'm some kid rite? hahax need to grow xia)

but it's just touching to know that at the course, even though there are people who are more superior in rank than you, they treat you really nice. and they're really helpful people! hahax i think manpower guys are generally all like that. even though sometimes we need to be cunning, and what i feel, without conscience (it hurts sometimes when you're planning duties for your friends) and also with authority. and that i guess is something i need to learn for now. i was talking to my friend (my primary school great friend in fact, ying qian) in the mess the other day and ya, i was thinking, in life, we need to have a balance between work and play. somehow i'm not used to people who might be older than me, or more superior than me, or maybe even my friends, calling me 'sir' and answering 'yes sir', but it's a formality i guess. i want them to call me for who i am (and definitely i'm not cute! bleh..hahax) although there are occasions where the rank does try to get the better of you. one must realise that when you possess that rank it does not give you absolute authority, however, it gives you absolutly responsibility over your actions, and over the actions of your subordinates. you have to learn to care for your men, no matter how busy you are, because there are moments where they might need you, where they require extra attention to prevent them from losing aim, not only of work, but themselves.

it's been only one week on the job, but i've realised that i actually do play an important part in this clockwork. there have been times where i have been clueless, there have been times where i stoned, and didn't know which direction to go. i guess i have to be clearer about myself before i can clear up the doubts of others. i might not have all the answers to all their questions, but i must know where i can direct them to, in order for the other to keep in track. somehow it's the missing link between question and answer...but i'll try to fit into the job. i promise i will try.

anyway, enough of work...it's feb already! can you feel it? chinese new year? valentines day? haha i guess valentines day for me still holds meaning, maybe not like before, where i was someone who loved without meaning. i remember secondary school, where i had this major crush on this girl for 4 years (haha i'm glad we're still friends!) until...i dunno lar. blind love i think. but i guess that was before. i'm not saying i'm having a direction this time, but this year, valentines day will most probably be about letting the people i love know how much i really do love them, and how much i'm willing to sacrifice for them. haha there are too many people i love liao! okay lar, at least they're all my friends! i feel, for me, for now at least, love between really close friends is one of the best types of love that one can ever have. even though we are leading different lives, but we still feel the same friendship for each other, and even if it hurts sometimes that we don't see each other as often as we would like to, the thought of that would make the other feel loved enough. am i right? *winks* yep...valentines day...i wonder how long more will this occassion become what it is truly supposed to be...2 years? 3? but i'm in no hurry. someone told me this before..."when it comes, you'll see it coming, and then you'll know that time's right!"

went shopping with my parents today...okay for the later part of it. lately (as many people who deemed me crazy) i've been on a wine hunt. maybe not just wine, but for my mini wine bar cum relaxation room which i call the nexus. just some facts about me and wine. history writes that i started learning about wine in mid J2, where i was this person who was looking for new cultures. it started from me drinking glasses of wine during one of my mahjong sessions with my cousins. that was when wine finally hit my senses. after that, i've been learning about how to drink (the look, the scent, the taste), what to look out for, storage (which i've acquired a wine fridge recently), vintages, varietials, blends, grapes, all the way till the percentage of grapes Sonama wines must have from Sonama in order to call it Sonama (it's a state in US that produces very good pinot noir). yep...i'm no expert yet, i'm just a beginner, but it took me 1 1/2 years to reach this stage. i admit i still have difficulty remembering names of good vintages, the different types of apellations and ranking systems around italy, but i can guide someone who is new to wine. so anyway, i just acquired a jigger at taka today for $6.20, which was considerably cheap in comparison to Screwpull's ice bucket which cost about $250. then went to chinatown for the annual chinese new year squeeze...it still feels pretty festive to me, and somehow i like the atmosphere. o yar, today, i finally had a successful bid! you know those auctions where the sell drawings and artworks...yep my first outdoor bid was succesful! $20 bucks for a pretty good artwork, shall take a pic of it and put it here next time...but ya, was pretty proud of myself! the smell of victory.. hahax!

anyways i gtg, still have certain things to say but dunno how to put it yet...so yep, till next time, take care folks! can't wait till 16th!